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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767079">When I Was Your Man</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BallumOasis/pseuds/BallumOasis'>BallumOasis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Casualty (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt, Loss, Love, References to Canon, multiple POVs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:00:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,331</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BallumOasis/pseuds/BallumOasis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>song fic based around the lyrics to ‘When I Was Your Man’ by Bruno Mars</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Faith Cadogan/Dylan Keogh, Faith Cadogan/Lev Malinovsky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I Was Your Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello everyone!</p><p>to those new to my work, welcome and to anyone who may have read my eastenders stuff before, good to have you back.</p><p>i wasn’t originally going to post this but have decided to bite the bullet. after watching casualty for years, this is my first time writing about the show. seeing the way that dylan &amp; faith is going, i just had to write a little something. much of this is written from Lev’s pov until towards the end.</p><p>a few little pointers i’d like to include for the first time readers amongst you are that lyrics to the song can be found in italics, and lowercase is intended. </p><p>lastly before i go, this is supposed to be set in the future and much of what you will read about hasn’t happened, hence why i tagged the work AU, however there are mentions to current storylines and mentions to what has happened in the episode broadcast 1st august, and reference to previews of 8th august’s episode.</p><p>also, i am aware that dylan is portrayed very ooc, and the whole luka thing is unlikely in his condition in the show, hence also why i tagged AU too :)</p><p>sorry for making this so long, i promise that’s all from me, hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">lev’s pov</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">when our friends talk about you all it does is tear me down</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">cause my heart breaks every time i hear your name </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">lying alone on their bed in their room in the marital home he now inhabited alone, lev realised for the first time since they split all those months ago, just how big the bed was without faith by his side. the deafening silence left him alone with his thoughts and insecurities. why had he not been careful? why had he given in? but most importantly, why did it have to be </span>
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">dylan </span>
  </strong>
  <span class="s3">that had seen all? in an ideal world, he would rather no one had seen them, but if it had to have been someone, he would much rather it was jan. he’d had an inkling when faith first joined the department, that there was some feeling on dylan’s part for his then wife, and with him holding this information, not to mention the words spoken to each other after dylan worked out the truth, lev knew he’d have to finally come clean so that he could tell his wife first, so that the small one up dylan held was pulled back down, so that lev was still in control. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">deciding to bury the thoughts for now, he turned on the radio located on the bedside table, just to have anything take his mind off and away from the present. but, he froze when he heard the familiar notes and voice, recognising that the radio was halfway through ‘their’ song. he was never any good at remembering song names, but he could recognise the little love ballad from the first note. it didn’t sound the same, he noted, without her singing and dancing along like no one was watching, another thing he loved about her.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">at work, handing over patients to the staff in the ED had become a much harder task. whenever they made eye contact, faith would look down and try to seem busy to avoid interaction, while dylan would just nod to show he’d received all information. lev was trying to be civil, but between them knowing the truth, luka’s condition and some gossip, he had found it impossible. gossip was a complete other story, hearing nattering from noel with other members of staff still upset him. he knew people would be talking, of course they would considering the frosty atmosphere they could sense something, but hearing mentions of faiths name, even in passing, broke his heart, both for what he’d lost, and how he made her feel.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">it all just sound like ooooooh ooh</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">too young too dumb to realise </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">that i should have brought you flowers </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">and held your hand</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">should have gave you all my hours</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">when i had the chance </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">take you to every party </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">cause all you wanted to do was dance</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">now my baby’s dancing</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">but she’s dancing with another man</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">he knew that he was not always the perfect husband, he had terrible anger and struggled with pressure and stress, his upbringing in russia playing a part in that, but one thing that was undeniable was his love for his kids. while luka had been the centre of attention, as he should have been while he was ill, he doted on his daughters. family meant everything to him, he’d swore to himself he’d never treat them how he was back at home. he’d loved his wife too, although he wished he’d shown it more. thinking back to when they were younger, he wished he’d brought the flowers she loved more often, he wished he’d grabbed her hand more when they were out, he wished he’d spent more time alone with her when they weren’t working, whether that was going shopping, going out to eat or even just sitting at home watching something on the tv. he wished that he could go back to every party they’d attended together, so that when she inevitably asked him to dance, he could jump up and join her, rather than staying sat at a table or stood around the side of the room, watching her move and enjoy herself with friends or family.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">dwelling on the past always brought him back to the now, especially the memories of faith dancing. he wondered where they were, what they were doing. he had assumed they would be at dylan’s boat, and he assumed they wouldn’t be doing anything too extreme, what with dylan being a very ‘simple’ man, as lev had described him to faith in the past. although he thought that maybe, just maybe, she could have rented a place of her own, what with having the kids also, but that always made him more hurt at the thought of them living together, envisaging the moments he loved so dearly, faith cooking, music blasting as loud as is possible, her mouthing, humming, singing along, a massive smile plastered along her face. but, then he sees the rest of the picture. dylan’s watching her, head in his hands while his elbows are leaning against the table, his eyes sparkling and tracing her, watching her every move as if she is a pen, and every movement she makes draws against a piece of paper. natalia, ana and luka are sitting there also, laughing at their mum, feeling slightly embarrassed by the way she was acting in front of dylan, by purposely singing off key. at seeing his children in the thought, another oldish image flashes into his mind, from a few months ago now. it’s a christmas party, of sorts, between the ED staff and paramedics, which is also extended to their partners and family. lev remembers it like it was yesterday. with everything coming out at this time surrounding their separation and the revelation about his sexuality, all eyes honed onto him as soon as he’s walked through the door. the kids are playing, making friends with everyone else’s, but once they spot him, they don’t leave him alone all night. seeing them confirms she’s here, at least, but whether dylan is, he’s unsure, thinking that it probably isn’t his sort of thing, which it wouldn’t have been until now but towards the night, eyes scanning across the room hoping that he catches sight of her so that they can talk, he spots them, sitting together. they’re laughing, properly laughing like she and him once had, at the younger doctors being pulled to their feet by the many sons and daughters of the staff, and beginning to grace the dance floor with their moves. there’s a flash, david’s caught the moment with his camera, showing it off and stating that it’s ‘probably the only photo ever of dylan smiling, let alone laughing’. lev can see it though, from where he’s sat alone at the bar, the love radiating from the pair of them as they bundle onto the dance floor with everyone else for one last dance, dylan not putting up an ounce of fight to stop himself, because in that moment he doesn’t care about how he looks, he’s with the woman he loves, surrounded by his friends. upon seeing all the cheer, lev had slipped out the door, not being able to take anymore happiness and laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">shaking the memory from his head, lev analyses the last few weeks and months again. he’s lost her, split the family up, but deep in his heart he knows they’ll be fine, because although the dylan at work is hardfaced, cynical, sarcastic and, dare he say, grumpy, he can see how absolutely besotted he is with faith, the way his eyes will dart across to her no matter where she is in the department, checking she’s ok. dylan probably thinks he’s being discreet, but lev can spot it from a mile off, because he had also once acted the same.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">my pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">caused a good, strong woman like you to walk out my life</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">now i’ll never, never get to clean up the mess i made</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">and it haunts me every time i close my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">it was true, every word he’d heard used to describe him at some point during his life was true. he took pride in everything he did, he was proud of his nationality, and he felt a great sense of pride for being honest with himself, and being true to his feelings. it was true that he had an ego, he’d been told so by everyone. he loved to express his opinion of himself often, although he much preferred praise from others to inflate it. his needs, unfortunately, had been the reason for putting him in this position in first place. ultimately however, he was proud of himself, for finally being comfortable to be himself around his colleagues and friends, for putting himself out there, for not letting past trauma affect him any longer. his selfishness, he knew, had shone throughout luka’s treatment. not being there for his then wife, while their only son was gravely ill, he regretted, and he knew it was no excuse but the pressure of it all, the thought of losing his little boy grew greater with every appointment. his selfishness and upset, and dare he say grief, led to him acting on his growing needs, leading to today’s current predicament. he knew he couldn’t change what happened, and he knew that eventually he would have to, and will move on, but he still loved faith, maybe not as he thought he once did, but he did as a friend. after all he still considered her to be family, what with her being the mother of his children. in fairness to her, she was, in his mind anyway, the only family he’d had for a long while. ultimately though, he had lost her. his actions had caused her to go, falling into the arms of another. the good, kind ACP who’d stolen his heart all them years ago, who’d cared for him, loved him, supported him. the strong, fiery ACP who’d kept the family together while luka was ill. she was a comfort for him, she provided him safety, and a facade to hide his true feelings behind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">co-parenting the kids with faith was even more awkward than seeing her at work. he’d text natalia and wait for them in the car, too nervous to knock, not wanting to interfere if she was with dylan. although they saw each other often, he needed to sort this all out, allow faith to properly move on and allow her and dylan to be happy together, after all it’s what she deserved with all she’d been through. he’d made a total mess of everything, and he needed to fix it to stop it haunting him, to allow himself to move on also. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">it all just sounds like ooooooh ooh</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">too young too dumb to realise </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">that i should have brought you flowers</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">and held your hand</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">should have gave you all my hours</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">when i had the chance</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">take you to every party</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">cause all you wanted to do was dance</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">now my baby’s dancing</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">but she’s dancing with another man</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">she haunted him in his dreams when he was asleep, weirdly enough. not the man he was trying to make a go of it with, but her. she was there for everything, in his life and out of it. she haunted his memories aswell, everything always came back to her. today’s memory being her birthday, before holby, and before all of this. they’d spent it together as a family during the day, while a small party between old friends was held that night. during the day, they’d gone into the centre of town to the park for a picnic. sitting in her favourite spot, watching the kids play, eating, laughing, joking. they’d spent most of the day there, before having to leave to get ready for the party. as they walked close together, he went to take her hand, but stopped himself. now though, he wished he had. on their way back home, she’d spotted a small flower shop on the corner of the street. looking through the window, she spotted the most beautiful bouquet of peruvian lilies. pointing them out to lev, she tried to drop a suble hint to him, but he was none the wiser and carried on walking. in fairness to himself, he could be forgiven for not realising, he’d been working more shifts for a variety of reasons, making him less obedient to sly looks, subtly and just generally tired. he knew he should’ve spent more time with his family, but it was his way of coping back then, throwing himself into work. thinking back, he should’ve given her, and their kids, all the time he could. night came quickly once they’d got home and changed. the party was in full swing. all night she’d tried to persuade him to join her on the floor for a dance, but he just wouldn’t do it. he was left sitting by himself most of the time, the other guests jumping to their feet. ‘just one song’, she’d say every time, but he’d decline time and time again. that memory ends there, and blurs into a fresher one, her birthday this year. theoretically, there was no need for a party this year, however she did organise one for the whole gang. a birthday party coupled with a celebration because , despite all the odds being stacked against him, luka had beaten his cancer. faith had organised the jamboree to thank everyone for their support during the hard times rather than for her birthday, but the dates had managed to coincidence with each other. she’d hired out a small pavilion, with a field so that the kids could have a bouncy castle and other hired entertainment. luckily, all of them were on the same shift pattern that week, so they all had a day off on the saturday, her birthday. dylan had invited zsa zsa and jeffers, who’d both been able to attend. the party ran from late afternoon until the early hours, but as they’d all began to retreat inside for the disco, faith had said a few words to thank everyone on behalf of both of them and express their pride and love for their little boy. lev had stood there, awkwardly fiddling with his hands and looking at the floor. as everyone had began to dance, lev retreated to a nearby table. out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash, deja vu sweeping over him. christmas. looking up, david had his camera out again, this time snapping a burst of photos of faith and dylan as he’d twirled her around to the music. he knew it shouldn’t bother him, but it did, so he snuck out to the field and laid down on the grass, looking up to the stars. he was unaware at this point, he’d been joined by another. hearing a cough, he sat up and turned towards the source of the sound , hoping to see her there so that they could finally thrash out their differences and move on. however, he was met with the sight of jan, two drinks in hand. making her way warily over to him, she sat beside him, offered him the drink, and opened her arms. lev took the drink, and collapsed into the hug, tears falling from his eyes and a few sobs emitted from his throat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">although it hurts</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">i’ll be the first to say that i was wrong</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">oh, i know i’m probably much too late</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">to try and apologise for my mistakes</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">i just want you to know</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">no length of time stopped the hurt. not because he was hurt about losing her as such, but he was hurt because he’d lost a friend, an ally, the only person to understand him for years, before now. and it hurt him to admit that ultimately, no matter who he was or how he was feeling, he was wrong to do what he did, cheat on her. it hurt him to admit that he’d cheated, and he was wrong to not to admit to it at first. but now, many months down the line, he knew that it was probably too late for him to apologise for what he’d done, how he’d treated her before, during and after, and not to mention how he’d treated dylan. he just needed a way to tell her, so that she knows that she can fully move on, so that they can move on in co parenting. so that they can, maybe, become friends or even do things as a family again, along with dylan and dervla, of course.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">he’d had his lightbulb moment. he’d remembered how, back when they’d first got together at university, they’d had a massive argument one night about something so insignificant that he’d forgotten exactly what. back then, he’d written her a letter and popped it under the door of her accommodation. he’d never been good with saying how he felt, but writing things down allowed him to really express his feelings. and so that’s what he did, cursive handwriting filling sheets of paper as he decided what to write, and rewrote neatly, his letter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">after handing over his last patient into the capable hands of the doctors and nurses, lev made his way through to the staffroom. he still had a spare key to faiths locker so he used it to his advantage. opening her locker, he placed the sealed envelope into her bag, knowing that she’d dip her hand in there at some point, whether that was to get keys, her phone, or even a pen, he knew she’d find it there. closing her locker, he took the small amount of blue tack he’d taken from the back of a photo of their babies inside her locker, to stick the spare key against the door of her locker, and left in a hurry through the rooms other door as he heard voices and footsteps approaching. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">faith’s pov</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">returning back to the small home she’d rented had become the norm for her and dylan a long while ago. they’d decided that it would be easier for dylan and dervla to move in with them when the time came, and that’s exactly what he did. he had rented out his boat to lovely young couple rather than selling it off. standing under the porch, digging around in her bag for the keys, faith pulled out the unnamed envelope, looking up to him and shrugging her shoulders. they entered the house quietly as to not wake the kids, who by this point would be long asleep, she hoped, after a busy day at school. dervla rose from her bed by the door to greet them as she padded upstairs to the two bedrooms the kids inhabited. entering natalia and ana’s shared room first, faith walked over to them both and placed a feathered kiss to both of their foreheads. turning to exit, she spotted dylan, who she hadn’t heard come upstairs, leaning against the door, having watched the exchanges from there. she was glad that the fact she had children had not mattered to dylan, and that he was more than happy to take them on, especially considering that at that time, luka was seriously ill. thinking of her little boy, she moved to open the door opposite the girls, and entered his room. dylan also took a few steps forward and assumed the same position, leaning against luka’s door. on her way into the room, faith must have kicked something, no doubt it was a toy of some sort. with luka having spent a lot of time in hospital, he’d become something of a light sleeper, the beeping of a monitor or the sound of movement waking him up. now was no different as the sound of the toy being hit, and the subsequent rolling of its wheels, had caused his eyes to fly open. spotting his mum sitting down in front of him, he lunged forward to give her a hug, as she embraced him and kissed his hair. what he’d said, she wasn’t sure, but he must have spotted dylan at the door because she’d certainly heard his name roll off her sons tongue. turning her head slightly to look over her shoulder towards him, she beckoned him into the room, and watched as luka left her arms, waving at dylan. as he sat down, luka had jumped into his lap and started to ask him silly questions about his latest interest, superhero’s. her heart melted instantly at the sight, she could watch scenes like this all day. seeing how dylan, and dervla, had fitted into their lives was like magic, he really was great with all three of the kids, and to her delight they had loved him from the start. she thought back to the day they’d all sat down at the table in the kitchen/diner to talk about everything, them two, the kids dad and how they could see him whenever they wanted. they knew that dylan wasn’t trying to impersonate lev, and that they always had their dad a phone call away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">leaving luka and returning downstairs, faith remembered the envelope that was in her bag. grabbing it from where she’s placed it on the side, they took a seat on the sofa, dylan putting something on the tv with low volume, sitting facing forward with dervla at his feet, his arm resting against the back of the sofa, allowing faith to sidle up close to him, swinging her legs up onto the sofa, laying on her side with her head tucked against his chest. she finally opened the envelope, seeing a page titled ‘faith’ and one with ‘dylan’ across its top. handing him his letter, she began to read the familiar cursive hand of lev. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">skimming her eyes over the letter, she could feel the emotion that lev had conveyed. he’d apologised for everything, every little mistake during their relationship, how their marriage had come to break down, how he couldn’t come to the door when collecting them for fear of awkwardness. he’d written about how he was happy for her, finding someone like dylan, and had basically approved of their relationship. he had written about his hopes that they could become friends again, and also expressed this thoughts on them all going out, together. she could only guess that he had written along the same lines for dylan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">further down the page, her eyes were drawn to a bullet pointed list. beginning to read them, she realised that they sounded as though they could’ve been lyrics to a song. peeking down at dylan’s letter, she saw a similar looking list. focusing back on her own she began to read:</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<ul class="ul1">
<li class="li1"><em><span class="s2">i hope he buys you flowers </span></em></li>
<li class="li1"><em><span class="s2">i hope he holds your hand</span></em></li>
</ul><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">both of them must have had identical bullet points, she realised, because as she was reading that one, she could feel the arm that he had draped over her shoulders shifted slightly, as he absentmindedly grabbed her free hand, entwining their fingers together as he used his thumb to draw patterns along the back of her hand. what made the moment sweeter for her was that as she flicked her eyes up to look at him, she realised that his eyes hadn’t left his letter, and that he was blissfully unaware of what he was doing to her hand. he was doing it out of instinct, she realised, her heart fluttering at the feeling. after composing herself, she continued reading. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<ul class="ul1">
<li class="li1"><em><span class="s2">gives you all his hours, when he has the chance</span></em></li>
<li class="li1"><em><span class="s2">takes you to every party, cause i remember how much you loved to dance</span></em></li>
</ul><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">she hadn’t realised, until then, that tears had begun to roll down her face. lev really did have a way with words. reading the last line and sign off of her letter, a muffled sob left her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">do all the things i should have done, when i was your man</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">at the sound, dylans eyes snapped onto her, taking in her appearance. she was sporting tear tracks along her face, and he could feel a slight dampness against his skin through his shirt, not that he minded. dropping his letter into his lap, he moved his now free left hand so that two fingers rested under her chin, allowing him to tilt her head towards him, so that they were staring at one another. he leant down slightly placing a light kiss against her cheek to remove an unwanted tear. the delicacy at which the action was carried out was as if he’d been doing it for years. he expected that her tears were not just for the contents of the letter, but also tears unshed from everything else that had happened, her separation, her boys health. she had needed to be strong through it all, the early gossip of what had happened between her and lev, not to mention the anguish of potentially losing her youngest. maybe, just being in that moment, with him, was enough to make her cry, the sincerity of it all.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s3">before faith was even aware of it, her lips were caught in a quick kiss, while his fingers left from under his chin to pick the letter up again. glancing up to steal a look at him, she watched his eyes flick down towards the paper, hers following to see him pointing out the last line of his own letter with his fingers. the tears built in her eyes again as she read the familiar words in his almost identical last sentence.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">do all the things i should have done, when i was </span>
    <strike>
      <span class="s5">your</span>
    </strike>
    <span class="s2"> her man</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thankyou so much for reading</p><p>if you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments below. also, all kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated.</p><p>hope to see you again soon!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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